February - A month I'd rather forget, but will always remember...

(my image)

February 2012 started out like all other months. 

First came the toothache. There is nothing like a toothache while pregnant and breastfeeding, with the only pain relief available being Panadol. Panadol was doing nothing to help me and I was spending most of my time rubbing teething gel on my gums and holding a heat pack to my cheek. I left it about a week before calling the Public Dentist. ( I actually believed it would go away! ) The very nice lady there informed me the "Emergency List" for my local surgery was 1 month!!! I opted to drive out of town, about half and hour, as the wait list there was only 7 days.

I am usually so scared at the dentist, but I had had a tooth pulled last year after Leo was born, so felt quite confident that it would be quick and painless, nothing to worry about.

I was wrong....I needed 4 needles, (my other crippling fear, thanks to a nasty doctor when I was a child) as the anesthetic wasn't spreading to all the places it needed to. Then, the extraction (which only took around 15 minutes last time) was horrendous. Even my lovely dentist, was getting frustrated. It ended with him having to drill my tooth into 4 pieces and then pulling each piece out individually. Finally, after 1 hour and 10 minutes, the last piece was out. It turns out that my roots were curved. Of course it didn't end there. My last recovery time was non-existent really, numbness wore off and no pain at all, this time it was excrutiating, and now weeks later my gum is still tender!

February was also the month of extreme budgeting. My husband is employed as a casual, but has always had plenty of work. All of a sudden there were no hours being put on his roster. NONE! So most weeks I spent worrying about where the extra cash would come from ( we are fortunate enough to receive a portion of the Family Tax Benefit, as well as a Parenting Payment for low income families. This covers our fortnightly rent leaving around $70 for food and petrol. Kaleb is not eligible for financial help from the government, even though he pays taxes, as he is not a resident of Australia )

Thankfully he started sending out resume's straight away and was seen for an interview and started a new job last week! Even though he has never been out of work for long, it is still always stressful, particularly when you have children, to not know how you will feed them or pay the bills. Our one saving grace is we live debt free and apart from electricity and phone/internet we have no bills.

Last and most certainly the most devastating, was the miscarriage of our baby. We miscarried our first baby in 2006, only days after a positive pregnancy test. Although it was sad, we didn't yet feel ready for children, so it wasn't given the respect such a time deserves. After 2 healthy pregnancies and wonderful births, we were so happy to be expecting again. Unfortunately at 11 weeks I started to spot. I didn't want to give in to negative thoughts and tried to remain as positive as ever. However, by the next afternoon, my body had given way to cramping and I knew that it was over. Although 8 days have passed, it is still not finished and I will be going for an ultrasound to see what is happening.

So now we have 2 beautiful children here on earth with us and 2 precious babies in heaven. I love them all so much.

Onwards and upward now, March/April is a happy time of year for us as we celebrate the birthdays of Roman, Kaleb, Kaleb's Sister, Kaleb's Mum, Me, Leo and my nephew Flynn!!

x Shara