Leo was "due" to arrive on the 4th of April and I remember my Mum joking with me that I might have him on my birthday. I replied that if I was still pregnant on my birthday, I would pull the baby out myself! Mum rolled her eyes (as Mum's do), She was due to have me on the 1st of April and I didn't make my appearance til the 13th! So, lo and behold, my guess date came and went and baby stayed well tucked up. I had been having braxton hicks for some weeks. Every afternoon contractions would start, getting closer and closer, sometimes getting to 2 minutes apart, but not increasing in intensity, around 9pm they would stop. My biggest worry at this stage was the pressure to induce. This option was completely against everthing I believed about birth. I was thankful for a wonderful midwife at that last appointment, who was happy to leave me to make my own decisions and I left there with a plan to come back at +10 days for a check up.
On the evening of the 12th, I went upstairs to bed, stopping off at the toilet of course, and was suprised to see I had lost part of my mucus plug. This was so exciting for me and left me feeling like trust had been renewed in my body, that it did indeed know what it was doing! I went to bed, completely excited, but knowing that it was my birthday the next day and unsure if I wanted to spend my birthday in labour!!
I awoke in the morning and discovered the rest of the plug had come away. I called my friend, E, who is a midwife and she said I would be in labour soon. I continued on my day, going to the park with friends and celebrating with cake and good conversations. That night, we continued on to have dinner with my family. I ate the hugest meal. Steak with avocado cream sauce, salad, fries and a side serve of calamari, followed by a large piece of pavlova for dessert!! It was so good, I was feeling so good, I leaned over to Kaleb and whispered, "tonight's the night".
After my Birthday dinner, Just hours away from labour starting.
Off I went to bed, promising myself a good sleep. I awoke at 4:45am. I had a very weird feeling. I lay there with my eyes open, thinking about how I just wanted to have this baby. Bang. 1st contraction. 5am. I decided to go downstairs and get my morning started and let everyone get some more sleep. Down the stairs I crept and as I sat down at the table, Bang, another contraction. It was so strong I actually felt quite ill. Vomit ill. I thought it best to get up to the toilet in case I was sick. Back up the stairs, and then another contraction. I woke Kaleb and asked him to get me a bucket from the laundry, I was pretty sure last nights amazingly enjoybale dinner was not going to be so amazingly enjoyable the second time around. He quickly got me the bucket and then climbed back under the covers. Uh, Kaleb, we are about to have a baby...get out of bed!!
Thanfully I did not vomit, We timed contractions for about 1/2 an hour and they were all 4 minutes apart and very intense. I asked Kaleb to call my Mum (she would be driving us to the hospital as Kaleb doesn't drive), She arrived soon after and as I felt like I really needed to get to the hospital, I thought I would ring my friend E (the midwife) and get her opinion. She said to call the hospital, see what they had to say and then call her back. It was only 6am so I can see that she would't want to leave the house if she didn't have to. The hospital midwife said to just come when I was ready... I was ready!!! I called E back and told her that I wanted to go now.
I should point out that I stayed at home for the first 8 hours in Roman's labour and then only went in after the hospital suggested I come in for a checkup. I still felt I went in too early, which led to ARM (artificial rupture of membranes), which increased the regularity and intensity of my previously manageable contractions, which then led to Pethidine. This is known as the "cascade of intervention". Thankfully my "cascade" didn't go any further.
Because of this, I knew that I didn't want to go to the hospital until the last moment. Until I was pushing... E met us at the hospital. It was now 7am and the midwife who I spoke to on the phone, seemed fairly surprised to see me. I had only been in labour for 2 hours. Unfortunately at this point, she started to get quite unpleasant towards me and I was not happy about that.
Even though I had not wanted any pain relief, I was not expecting such an intense labour and I said I wanted some meds. I wanted Pethidine. This would require an internal examination, another no no in my books. E suggested I get in the shower first and see how I felt. At this point, the midwife voiced that she was unsure I had really needed to come in, because my contractions, while now 2 minutes apart, were alternating between a long and strong and a short and mild. When the midwife left the room, I said to Kaleb that I wanted to request a different midwife. I did not like how this lady was speaking to me and after having a horrible midwife deliver Roman (she told me to "shut-up and push"), I was not going to have that again. In my opinion, the midwife/doctor/birth attendant can make or break your experience. I read somewhere recently that the majority of women who have negative memories of their labours all cite the caregiver as the issue.
I got ready for the shower and it was now time for E to leave :( . Her husband had to work and she had 2 little ones to get home to. Finally feeling some relief in the shower with the lovely hot water on my back I was able to relax and start putting my "Birth Skills" into practice. If you are having a baby, I highly recommend this book. When the midwife returned she said she was finished her shift (hallelujah!) and introduced Beth and Rachel (a student). These 2 ladies were amazing and exactly what I needed. They stood back against the wall just watching, passing me water when I requested it and getting me what I needed to be comfortable. As I started to get tired legs, I requested a chair, but when I sat down I felt a pop (this was my waters breaking, but I was so far into Labour Land, I didn't really acknowledge it) and then was unable to sit down due to the pressure. I got down onto all fours and my body started to push. Beth leaned down and asked if I wanted to try some gas. I gave it a go but found it hard to concentrate on getting the gas in my mouth and pushing at the same time. I gave the gas back and she asked if I wanted to have the baby in the shower. Yes! I did not want to leave the relief of the hot water. All the bits needed were brought into the shower and I was getting so excited that he would soon be in my arms....
Then..... The hot water ran out. No more hot relief. Just a naked woman, on all fours, about to birth a baby, in freezing cold water! I couldn't believe it. Not only was I cold but Kaleb too, as he was in the shower also and was soaked through. I wanted out. I walked back from the shower to the bed and as I leaned against the bed I heard Beth yell "I need a second midwife", she threw the mat and towel on the floor beneath me, and I remember screaming a profanity as his (37.5cm) head crowned. Then a moment of peace as his head was out and we waited for the next contraction. I remember calling out to Leo, telling him to come, that I loved him and wanted to meet him. Then one final push, and I heard Beth catch him, exclaiming "Ooomph, I had to flex my muscles for that catch". She passed him up between my legs and the first thing I noticed was his shock of dark hair, then he put his thumb in his mouth and started sucking. I hopped up onto the bed and felt so relieved it was all over.
8:47am. 3 hours and 47 minutes. 10 pounds 8 ounces. Exhilarating. Empowering. Amazing. I love giving birth and I can't wait to do it again ;)
We came home that evening.
So one year on, I am in absolute love with this little man. I was so worried about how I would have enough love for 2 children.... It is just amazing how your heart expands.
We are still breastfeeding, and this is something I am so proud of. It is such a special part of our relationship and bond.
x Shara
* I have left parts of this story out. Mainly the parts after his birth and the hospital politics. After such a complication free birth, I couldn't believe how fast it all went downhill. Specifically, the treatment by the doctors and staff at this local hospital (I only encountered one friendly midwife). No one was interested in respecting my right to have or not have certain procedures performed on myself and Leo. I was bullied and harrassed. Needless to say I was glad to get out of there. Birth should be about the woman and her baby, not policy and politics.
